Do you understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up?
Read more...
Things were moving pretty fast in this last 3 years. It's just like yesterday I stepped my foot into a building called "SMAK 1", ranting about how hard it is to be a high-school student, ranting about endless tasks, and wondering why the suffering never ends. But when the time has finally come, when it comes to the very last examination, I just realized that this past 3 years has been the best part of my life (yet.)
Freshman year was not fun, at all. Well, I've got bunch of friends, mostly girls, but we were the unpopular squads. We stick together because we were actually sidekicks, outsiders. School days were also so hectic. Being in a transition era was hard. The exams were way harder than they were in middle schools. Endless tasks, presentations, group works, don't forget to mention the teachers who barely teach us. When I finally managed to get through freshmen year, I was relieved and hoped that next year would be better.
Second year was definitely the best. I've got the awesom-est (I don't know how to spell it), silliest, craziest, but totally lovely classmates. People say that you may meet your friends for life at highschool. For me, this was the moment. I may not be friends with everybody at my class, but there were 14 of us (?) who formed a really strong bond. Well, maybe that's because we often studied together after class, went to movies, threw a surprise for each other's birthdays and so on. Beside friends at class, I've got another friends from the orchestra! I was involved with the school orchestra, and we had a big event during the second year. Looks like intense orchestra practice could make us so much closer!
Senior Year! The most exhausting and tiring year of all time. For me, this was decision year. Where to continue my study next. This could be a turning point, where my life would head next. The first semester was really tiring and stressful. I applied to 4 different unis (which I regret later due to too many options), prepared all the documents needed for unis, wrote essays and personal statements, while still have to study for exams everyday. I was also became the committee of SMAK ONE CUP (my first time, yeay!) and you can say that I was as busy as a bee at that moment. Thank God, time flew and then second semester came. Second semester was more..chill? We were just preparing for school exam and national exam, I guess. For some people, national exam was not a big deal. But for me, it was. I had to reach 94% average (which is unreasonably high) to get a full scholarship at HKU. I was kinda pessimistic at first. I got a pretty difficult exam set, which had a lot of invalid questions (bad luck, huh) but God was fair and knew I've worked very hard to earn this.
After the national exam, our little group called "Triple B" arranged a trip to Puncak. It was not a farewell trip (oh I hate the word 'farewell' or 'goodbye'). Fifteen of us stayed at my family's villa. We went there by bus and we even brought a lot of food supplies because we were going to cook by ourselves! The trip was very fun and memorable, worth every second of it. There were endless laughter, inside jokes, late-night conversations which I couldn't forget. Even though it lasted for only 3 nights, but in 3 nights I managed to get to know my friends a lot better. It definitely made us closer, until the point where I just simply cannot say goodbye to them (sounds cheesy, but that's true. I truly love them all)
Prom night was coming, and as if in the movie, it was truly a night to remember! Prom night preparation was troublesome. I, with 2 of my friends went dress-hunting from one store to another! I finally found my dress 2 weeks before prom night, a long emerald dress with flower decorations on the shoulder. Simple, yet classy? I knew the color green was not common but I didn't care. Hey, I could be different, right? Prom night was okay, even though it was a little bit under my expectations. My relationship with my "un-official" prom-date (or should I say, prom-partner? prom-tablemate) became worse (well, we've got personal issues a few days before prom), and we barely said a word to one another. Thank God he felt guilty that he left the table and moved somewhere else. Our table was located at the corner that we barely see any show on the stage. The lightning was dark that we couldn't take a lot of pictures. But out of so many flaws, it was one of those nights that you could make memories with people you love the most. So, I kinda had fun at prom, thanks to all the amazing friends I've got!
As prom came to an end, I realized that our time at high school would end soon. Somehow I wish that time would slow down, maybe stop at that moment. I still want to hang out with my friends, I still want to hug my girl-friends, talk nonsense about our future, secretly judging each other's potential boyfriends (or boys we got close to), and just that. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to stress about the future that I don't have any idea of. Few years ago, I dreamed to grow up quickly and leave this country, move to another country, and start a new life. But now, some part of me don't want to leave. I'm not ready, yet. Time flew so fast, too fast that I barely looked at things around me.
Sky is not the limit for human, but time is. No matter how hard we fought against time, we would always lose. Last Saturday was finally graduation day. The day when we finally walk out of those doors for the last time. The day when we finally standing in alphabetically ordered line to receive our graduation medal. Probably the last time to meet some people; teachers, juniors, classmates that you barely hang out with. It's kinda sad. I was a kind of person that hold onto memory, maybe too much. I'm also pretty sentimental when it comes to goodbye. Even though we may meet again in one occasion or another, still, graduation day was kinda emotional to me. But I didn't shed a tear that day. Maybe because I've realized that true friends are never apart. Maybe because our journey together was so much stronger than goodbye itself.
So here I am, a proud alumni. Still don't know where life would take me next. Still have those late-night conversations with the ones I care the most. Still don't have any boyfriends (damn you boys, only chasing but don't have any intentions to be serious). Still don't know what the future holds. Still don't know how to cross the road by myself. Still pretty bad at directions.
I'm not ready to become an adult, yet. I understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up. So do I. I don't want to grow up. But I have to. Heck, everybody has to. But all I know, I've got two supporting parents, bunch of amazing friends, that always support me and have my back.
I don't have any idea of how to grow up. But, let's give it a try, shouldn't I?
